I was not many months over 13 when our year group in school had nail down down and which subjects we’d study through to the end of our high school years.

The future was calling and the ‘big guns’ from Careers were called in for the first and last time to guide us to chose the subjects for the career destination we desired.

I had no idea on my destination and was curious to meet a way finder who could help unravel the mystery and jump on the path to my life and work. It was the first time I realised , that I might actually have some influence over the direction of my future. I was excited. 

The appointment was brief. It was more of a passing counter experience. She hardly lifted her head and gesticulated  towards a giant  book on a desk.  Have a look through that. It’s full of ideas.

She wasn’t wrong. The number of ideas in the ‘Big book of Careers’ was overwhelming. As I skimmed across it to find direction, there were things I was drawn to and they were all entirely different. They all needed entirely different educational paths. 

How can you know? Feeling the panic rising in me, I  closed the book that seemingly held destinations and pathways to the future.

The only words I could say were ‘ I just want to help people.

‘Nursing? Social work?’ She offered. 

I wasn’t inspired. 

There was no clear sign; no direct path to anything. I felt like a reject in an industrial career path sausage machine.

As I look back at the moment I left that room, it’s etched in my memory as an out of body experience. I see myself walking towards myself. The transition of lost soul to wayfinder?

It It felt like the path of least resistance. I choosing the subjects I liked and could do. I covered the shame of not having a clear vision and pathway etched out of the  experience with the ‘big book of careers’

Looking back now I was trusting my instincts, following my gut…when you know you don’t know. Uncertainty had created s challenge to find a path.

No one framed it like that. A journey of crafting clarity to find what’s really you. No one spoke about finding your work or exploring what you could do in the world by just doing anything.

I got my first job at 13. Work, not education was the beginning of exploring to find myself.

To crafting clarity by just starting.